Eulogy

At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.  

     We are never prepared for the death of a loved one, and it is an emotional experience to dwell on the beauties and sorrows of life,  and yet, it is our obligation to keep their memory alive, to make their life a blessing. In this way,   today we come together to remember, Philip. Phil was a beloved partner, father, and grandfather and friend. He was a man who never stopped moving, who loved with all his heart, and who felt deeply for his family and friends. Phil was born on January 8th, 1926 to Anna and Immanuel in Toledo, Ohio. Phil was born long after his three older brothers were already grown and in college. Because his mother wasn’t well, his brothers, essentially raised him. They were all very close, and as such, Phil remained close with his nieces and nephew after his brothers’ passing.

    Phil attended Scott High School in Toledo and then later Toledo University where he majored in business, however Phil never finished college and ran away and got married. Phil would go on to have three daughters, and five grandchildren. After leaving college, Phil joined his brother’s companies, the Walford Department stores. Towards the end of World War II, Phil served in the army at the Oakland Army Base. Phil was supposed to be shipped to Japan, but then the war ended and Phil never got on the ship and instead he went home to Ohio.

       Phil ended up in Port Clinton, Ohio by working for his brothers’ stores. Later, he would go on to open the Pet Bizarre and Pet Doc. After he sold his businesses and retired the first time, Phil went into real estate and worked for another 15 years. Gretchen says that the only reason he left real estate was because “When everything went to computers, it got to be a bit much.”

    Anyone who knows Phil knows that Phil was a people person full of energy. Gretchen remembers how Phil loved to meet new people, and he could always find someone he knew. Once when she was younger, Gretchen asked, “Dad, do you have to talk to everybody everywhere we go?” Phil was known as somewhat of an energizer bunny, after all he retired the first time and worked on for another 15 years! He really liked being busy. He just wouldn’t stop, and he was a FAAAST walker. As a kid, Gretchen said she had to run to keep up with him, he just walked sooo fast.

      Throughout his life, Phil was an active member of a number of organizations. He was on the Board of the Salvation Army and the Board of the Otterbein Retirement Community where he helped to establish the gift shop. Phil was also a dedicated member of Temple Oheb Shalom where he served as the Temple treasurer for many years.

   Phil was also an amazing grandfather. He read countless books with his grandsons, and many times, according to Gretchen, his toy soldiers would be set out for the boys to play with as soon as they got there, almost as if they were an excuse for them to come over. Phil was also the first one to get in the pool with the little kids. He was always willing to walk around the pool with the kids on his back, always ready to play, to be the best grandfather he could be.

                All of Gretchen’s friends remember Phil having popcorn. Everyday after work, he would come home pour himself a glass of scotch and make a bowl of popcorn. Phil definitely had a sweet tooth. He was always up for ice cream. Sometimes, when Gretchen was growing up, he would get up to go get her ice cream at 10pm at night, but he was really the one who wanted ice cream. In Phil’s last days, he couldn’t eat much, but he could eat ice cream. Gretchen recalled saying, “Dad, you waited your whole life to be on an ice cream diet, and now you are.”

       Phil also had strong beliefs about how to load the dishwasher. If you didn’t load it properly, aka his way, he would go back and load the dishwasher again. Gretchen says “He was just crazy about the dishwasher. It had to be there just so.” He believed cleaning the kitchen was his job and no one else could do it the right way.

      Phil and Nancy, his beloved partner, met while Nancy was working at the Salvation Army. For two years she flirted with him with no luck. One day, however, Nancy walked out into the hall while Phil was getting directions for a campaign, and Phil asked her if she’d like to have dinner sometime. Nancy was thrilled. Her secretary said, “I thought he’d never ask you.” And, they’d been together since. Phil loved Nancy and his family very deeply. Phil would always say to Nancy and to Gretchen, “I love you, babydoll.”  Phil felt very deeply and he cried easily. Nancy recalled him crying on a trip to a Synagogue in Budapest, where his family was from, and when each of his grandchildren were born, and sometimes just in waking up in the morning. He was filled with love and feeling.

      Phil was also very devoted to Judaism. The last time I spoke with Phil in May, he spoke with such devotion regarding his faith in Judaism. He had always grown up around other Jews, and everyone he knew in his neighborhood growing up was Jewish. He grew up knowing the importance of belonging to a synagogue, and he valued that very  much.

      As some of you may know, Phil’s Hebrew name was Pinchas. This last Shabbat we read from Parashat Pinchas. In the Torah we read that Pinchas, a righteous Jew, stopped a plague from ravaging the Israelites while they were in the desert. His faithfulness to God and to the Jewish people led God to grant Pinchas a pact of friendship which would endure throughout the generations. Pinchas and his descendants were given the priesthood as a reward for their service and for Pinchas’ love and devotion to God and to his fellow Jews.  Like Pinchas, Phil was fully dedicated to his Judaism. He always felt, no matter where he was, that he was a Jew, and that Jewish community was important to him. He loved coming to Temple and being with his Temple community.

    His love of Judaism, his love of family friends, and community remind us of our own need for something greater than ourselves. Phil brought so much joy and love into the world. He will be dearly missed by all who loved him, especially Nancy his dear and caring partner, his beloved daughter, and by his dear grandchildren. Just like Pinchas, may Phil’s memory live on through each one of you and through all of us, as we hope to live our lives with as much love, joy, and depth as he did.

Zichono L’vracha: May his memory always be for a blessing.